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Now you explore his body. Be honest and vocal about what you like and don't like. Too many guys want to race down the Autobahn of foreplay. Get in the slow lane and let your body and senses warm up. You're not riding solo here, take your time and let your senses go crazy on a long road trip to the end. Set the scene to where there is nothing but you, him and all of the time you need.
Sex is oftentimes awkward and sometimes funny as you gain complete confidence in yourself and your partner. Go with the flow. Try not to get anxious. There is no one right way to do it. And it's too early to get bogged down in labels Am I a top or bottom? You don't even have to go "all the way" if you don't want.
17 Tips for Being a Better Top
Just be you and let your body show you where to go. Most tops could use a lesson on how to top better, and most self-identified bottoms will at some point be at the altar of his ass, ready to worship but unsure of what to do. Whichever way you lean, browse my 17 tips on how to be a better, beastly top. My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. As with everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men.
Those who are sensitive regarding frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you are outraged by content that addresses sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality.
For all others, enjoy the slideshow.
The Gay Man's Good Sex Guide
And feel free to leave your own suggestions for sex and dating topics in the comments. Hungry for more? A change of scenery is an incredibly simple way to add some variety to your sexual experience and changes the whole mood of the fuck session. If you're not an overly-adventurous sort, keep it simple and just move the action to another part of the house. Fuck in the laundry room, the shower, on the couch, or whatever.
Just get out of the bedroom and switch it up. Who knows, maybe you'll realize you get a little more excited when you change the scenery?
1. Consume high amounts of fiber.
If you are a more adventurous type who already fucks all around the house, take it to the next level and find a secluded place to fuck outside. There's nothing quite like having a great bang on a picnic blanket in the sun in a secluded spot in the woods or on an empty stretch of beach. Just make sure you're alone! Nobody needs indecent exposure charges. For the extremely adventurous types, why not take a field trip to a sex club.
Any good sex club will be a safe place for you and your partner to get the thrill of fucking in public without all the concerns about little things like jail time and legal fees. It's easy to get caught up in the moment and lose control of your breathing when you're having a really good roll in the hay.
For some people, this might mean forgetting to breathe and for others, it might mean hyperventilating. Neither of these things is ideal for a couple of reasons.
Hyperventilating introduces all sorts of extra oxygen into your blood and, among other things, makes your nerves super-sensitive. This can be a real problem for guys who are a little quick off the mark from time to time. Forgetting to breathe causes you to tense up and also makes it harder to orgasm. If you are having trouble with either of these issues, you might want to look into learning a few simple breath control techniques.
Hell, even if you aren't having any trouble, it's not a bad idea to learn them. They are a great way give you better control over your orgasm and maintain your stamina all around. If you are worried about how to slot into a nice sexual groove with a new partner, try mimicking his sexual style. If you notice he tends to go for a lot of deepthroating when he's going down on you, it's a safe bet that he is doing that because that's what he knows feels good. The same goes for anything else you can think of sex-wise.
Gay Sex: Is This Your First Time?
The only time I would say this method is a bad idea is in situations where power disparity is part of the fun. Chances are a guy who likes to be rough with subs isn't going to like his subs being rough with him and vice versa. No matter how we dress it up sex, is an inherently animalistic and extremely primal act.
All of our kinks, preferences, gadgets, and costumes can ever erase the fact that sex is basically two animals indulging themselves in an ancient and instinctive act. We can deny this all we like, but there will always be a tiny, savage part of us that remembers what we truly are, animals. My personal philosophy is that the best way to have amazing sex is to let that primal, feral part of myself run wild when I'm fucking. When you really let go and embrace that animal side of yourself, you transform into an insatiable fuck monster.
Just let it all go! Snarl, bite, moan, growl, scratch, really wrestle your partner. Fuck with wild abandon like the deranged primate you really are.