Dating with a disability gay man

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Your good looks are icing on the cake! A long time ago I was pursued on line by a guy when I was looking for a relationship. When I finally got to meet him I asked him how I would recognize him? His response was he would likely be the only one there with only one arm. After months of conversations this was a fact he had never before mentioned. I considered being a no-show but I went and honestly I was more upset by his lack of honestly all that time than I was by his missing appendage. Keep telling them up front. I think Josh is addressing it in the right way, in a note after the initial contact.

The 1 Question they might have? Why not include something simple but up front like: I read the article as if there was a correct answer. Maybe using instant video conversation skype, etc. It may be a good compromise ; an option to test? By letting guys know upfront will weed out the really shallow guys. Being disabled either visible or not does not make a guy any less loveable, sweet, horny, etc..

Having said so, good luck to this man. Better to be honest than dishonest.

Redefine Your Love Life!

Be prepared for the fact that sexual attractiveness is largely based on physical appeal. If I were you, I would meet people in. The truth is sexier than anything you can invent. I too am gay and have a disability. Unfortunately the second someone mentions being disabled, certain assumptions are made. First, most people assume I am paraplegic and confined a wheelchair. Where does one queer crippled guy go to obtain the body that the app-holes are thirsting for? Spaces like the gym, filled to the brim with beautiful bodies and bulging boys, are so often not designed with my disability in mind.

The messaging I hear in the gym is loud and clear: This is further proof that my queer crippled body has no real value, as it is. The next time you tell a disabled guy that they just need to work out, think about the privilege that comes with that statement. Also, the next time I see a message about my supposed fitness from you, I might just have to reply: Via huffingtonpost. Home About our blog.


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Contact Login Terms and Privacy. She threatened to fight whoever said it and listed a whole bunch of nice things about me. Even a girl she was talking to on the down-low jumped in to defend me. No one had ever blatantly questioned whether I was undateable because of my arm, so why did I? But mostly I was so terrified of someone else saying I was unattractive because of my arm that I tried to mitigate the pain by saying it first.

Dating with a Disability

My confidence level got much higher when I got to college. Though people began asking questions about my disability more, I got hit on and hooked up frequently.

How Having A Disability Influenced My Queer Dating Life

Having grown into my style, I felt attractive. I hardly reacted to her comment at the time, because I was too busy drunkenly bawling my eyes out. We broke up a few months later, but I continued to think about what she said. I realized I was attracted to women way before I realized how my disability impacted my sexuality and dating life. In a way, yeah, I got it — if I had two hands, even more men would probably hit on me. I already get hit on a lot; I blame my boobs. Most days, I feel pretty good.


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These days, most of the time, I hardly think about it. I met Rebecca for our second date at the movies. This time I was wearing my new, state-of-the-art bionic arm. To me, the arm was undeniably sexy.

How Having A Disability Influenced My Queer Dating Life

I carefully balanced on my high heels on the way up the stairs, gripping the banister with my right hand, holding my purse with my prosthetic. I really liked Rebecca; I'd never liked someone this much after a first date. My heart started to pound when I saw her in the crowd of moviegoers. My heart pounded even harder when she leaned over during the movie and kissed me.

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In the past, I've sometimes felt ugly around women I was attracted to — both because of how women are conditioned to compare themselves to each other and because of my arm. But this time I felt beautiful, I felt comfortable, I felt sexy. As Rebecca laughed and placed my prosthetic on the nightstand, all I could think about was how much I liked her.

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