I'm a straight cisgender woman, so I can only speak from my own experience, but before I got into my first relationship at 23 years old, I constantly found myself wondering why it was so incredibly hard to find someone who actually wanted something real. And apparently, I'm not the only one who faced this issue. A recent Reddit AskWomen thread prompted queer women to reveal where they go to meet women , because, well, meeting people is hard! While looking for love for anyone in this generation can prove to be difficult, women responding to the thread revealed looking for love with a woman as a queer or bisexual person comes with some of its own unique challenges.
Currently in a relationship with a guy anyway. Women on the other hand are harder to read. Other users found a sense of solidarity in the fact that there were other women out there who shared their struggle. Well, ladies, luckily there were other women on the thread who had plenty of great tips for queer women looking to find the one.
Gay men give their best life advice to straight men | The Independent
Read along and take note. By Candice Jalili. Meetup is a great alternative to more classic dating apps. It was a lot more meaningful to find people with similar interests who also happened to be gay. Never met so many wlw in my life — grapefruitseedxtract. Living in a liberal city helps. I live in a very liberal city where small town kids come to "discover themselves". It ain't hard to find a lil mama. Make friends who share your interests. I socialize in groups that share similar interests to me and make friends with other girls.
If I discover they're also interested in girls, I begin testing the waters to get closer! I've never had any luck with dating sites or lesbian groups.
She asked for advice:
Thankfully, the more organic approach has worked out well for me! I've got a girlfriend and zero regrets. Find gay-friendly communities that are mostly run by females.
That's not easy either. As a girly lesbian, I constantly get overlooked. If I'm in a gay club, everyone thinks I'm just some straight girl hanging about. I'm not gay enough for some lesbians and I'm forever having to "come out" to people over and over again because it's not obvious. Which I realise is not always a bad thing.
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People need to realize that LGBT people come in all shapes and sizes and rainbow varieties. By now it should be obvious, but for some reason it isn't. As a femme lesbian, I have to come out over and over again like this woman.
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It gets annoying because you genuinely don't know how people will react, at the very least you don't want them to stick that gay label on you as though it's the most interesting thing about you. You feel safer in a gayborhood, but that is also typically a place where gay bashers will congregate if they get in that mood. Also, when I was in a less accepting place than here, when my former partner and I would kiss on a public date, such as a public park, and there were cops around, we would often get harassed and threatened to be arrested for solicitation whereas the straight couples that were there were given a free pass to go fuck in the woods.
This is really sad but I had to include it because some people don't think that gay bashing still exists - it does. That's one of the many reasons why we have pride, to show that we're a strong community who stands up against injustices. It isn't a huge deal but after 6 years together it eats away at you and becomes extremely grating.
Okay, so it's not so bad. But I get it. The little ways in which we're treated differently gets annoying.

It's like you're given little reminders that you're not what is considered "the norm". For this guy, the fact that he mentions the length of his relationship shows that he feels as though these little things invalidate his relationship somehow. It's not fair that he should have to feel that way. It creates a small bit of paranoia, and apparently really isn't that uncommon. Also, for females, jealousy. We are still women!
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I'll be jealous that she's so gorgeous, she'll be jealous that I'm so thin, I'll be jealous of her hair, she'll There is not always a guy and a girl. I understand its to connect it to something you might not understand, but sometimes there really just isn't one. Looks from people in public. The nice thing is, usually they're nice looks, or more confused. Hell, I do it too! It's kind of a reminder of how far we've come. If I'm not feeling well on a date and need to go excuse myself she can and several have just been like, "Oh I need to go to the bathroom too, I'll come with you.
This is hilarious but true. Why do women always have to go to the toilet together? God knows. But it isn't great for lesbian relationships. Even if you don't let out an accidental fart in the bathroom stall next to your date, you still don't want to hear what they're doing in there, not if you haven't been together too long anyway. Straight people don't get questioned or challenged about it when they say they want a baby. Why should I?
So their expectation is that I will answer telling them exactly how my partner and I will have a baby, like what method. I wouldn't ask her if her and her husband had some good old P in V, and how many times, before they conceived. I will add to what another user said - be prepared for much more personal questions about your sex life, and your personal life in general.
I understand much of it is from ignorance, they genuinely don't understand how I can have a baby with another woman, but you know what, google it. I wonder personal things about people all the time. But I don't blurt it out to them because that would be rude, and it's not my place to ask them to explain themselves to sate my curiosity. From my experience this does nothing but encourage guys, and they invariably ask you to "kiss to prove it" and continue to harass you for a while.
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I've just started pretending to be dating one of my male friends when this happens now, to which the usual response is "oh, sorry dude! I understand that a lot of straight men are attracted to the idea of lesbians, but that kind of situation does get tiring. I also get straight men asking if I have ever slept with a man. It's ridiculous, I wouldn't go asking about their past sexual encounters. But they think it's okay in order to get definitive proof of someone's sexuality. Most assume a mistake was made with the booking and will try to correct it by changing to a twin room.
Once this was to our benefit as we had both caught food poisoning on our flight. Anyone who has been that ill knows you do not want to share personal space with anyone in that state. In all honesty, LGBT people will look up travel destinations to see how friendly they are before they go. It might be annoying that you have to do that in the first place. But it's important to feel safe and comfortable.